The Full Moon may have passed on to the next phase this month, but the experience of it lingers. What I’ve noticed since a very young age is that the Full Moon has the capacity to elicit a particular response in me. My first reaction to seeing it is to smile. I don’t mean a slight upturning of the corners of my mouth but, instead, a broad, beaming smile spreads across my face. It seems to come from somewhere deep inside and simply overflow.
Interesting that I have never really explored the feelings and thoughts associated with this Full Moon smile. Why is it that it’s so much easier to put energy into feelings and thoughts that are unpleasant or fear-based? Those are generally what pull our attention and take up space in our thinking/feeling lives. They are the ones that torture us, that become the middle-of-the-night voice that keeps us awake. And we become the loser in the fight against them, trying so hard to shut the door tight and keep them out.
As an alternative to focusing on that which is disturbing to us, how about spending time with what makes us smile? How would it be to explore the character and qualities of those things that bring us joy – even if that sense is fleeting? Bringing the energy of this inquiry to my Full Moon smiles, I’d say the feelings are layered. The sensation that seems to form the basis of my experience is one of being protected and looked after. I remember as a child walking the short walk home from the neighbor’s house in the dark, looking up and seeing the Full Moon and feeling safe. As long as the Full Moon was there, I didn’t need to be scared. It wasn’t so much that it made me smile as it translated into a sense of being okay with the dark. Of course, the bolstering of confidence came not from the Moon but from inside me – an awareness that didn’t emerge until many years later.
Since that time, the Full Moon has reappeared with some regularity, barring clouds and storms. Always there is for me an accompanying feeling of reassurance, like an old friend. There is a familiarity that comes with seeing it that is a “coming home” experience for me. I feel grounded and secure, and it matters not that the feeling may not last. All feelings and thoughts arise and pass away no matter what we do. What’s important is nurturing the ability to come back to the sense of smiling. That sense can be something that is carried inside of us, kind of an anchor to our ground of being. For me the Full Moon serves as the key to open the door and tap into the joyful energy that is there.
So, where is it that you find your Full Moon smiles?